Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson

Hey, hey, hey

So, I started reading Shakespeare. Thinking it'd be cool, and I'd seem smart. Yeah, well, my plan backfired. I was reading and half of the time, I had no friggin' idea what he meant or was saying. The other half, I was writing a story myself. In my head. So, my reading went nowhere.

I mean, I don't know why he was so great. According to my spell-check, he's mentally challenged. Or something. So, I gave up on Whats-His-Face and started reading Whats-Her-Face, Emily Dickinson.

So I read some of her poems, because, oh you know, people write pages and pages of essays about how great she is. Her poems don't make sense.. At all. I mean, what's up with:

"We lose because we win." What?? See what I mean!

Another nonsense line:

"Fame is a bee." No, no, no! A bee is an animal. That buzzes around flowers and eats...I don't know what it eats, but it eats.

Or, or:

"Water is taught by thirst." Technically, you can't teach water anything. It's WATER.

"'Hope' is the thing with feathers." No, a BIRD is the thing with feathers. What is WRONG with this lady.

Wait, it gets even better.

"On this wondrous sea,

Sailing silently,

Ho! Pilot, ho!

Knowest thou the sho--" Let me stop right there, how is she sailing silently is she's yelling "Ho! Pilot, Ho!" Another thing, it's a BOAT, not a PLANE. He is not a "Pilot" and who was she calling "Ho!" Oh my. I don't want to know. Mooovvviiiinnnng on.

"I never lost as much but twice," What? You didn't lose..but you lost twice. Oh, no, yeah, that makes PERFECT sense. I mean, her poems don't even rhyme!

"She died -- this is the way she died." Yeah, well, she probably died of boredom from your boring poetry that doesn't even make sense. I think Emily Dickinson was intoxicated while she wrote her poems. And looks how famous she is!

Overdecorated Houses

Hey, read on.

I'm actually in a rather jolly mood. I get my brown, baby, chihuahua today. Her name is Cinnamon. Dogs make happy, awesome little dudes. Or dudettes. Whatever.

Anyways, my mom and I were driving and we see all these houses with so many decorations. They OVER embellished their home. I literally thought the house going to catch on fire or something. Maybe electrocute themselves.

Seriously.

I think these people were drinking and decorating or something. So many lights, so many colors, and inflatable HUGE Santa's. Well, folks, don't drink and decorate. Your house might catch on fire.

Happy People

Hello, hello,

Alright, alright, I know I haven't posted in a long time, but you know what? Shut up. Yeah, shut up, my dog died. I had him for a long time and some IDIOT ran him over. Seriously, people should have to, like, take, TEN damn tests in order to get their damn license. Yes, I cried, surprisingly, I have feelings. So now I'm filled with this brand new rage and frustration. Thank you, random idiot who killed the most precious thing I had. >:|

Anyways, I'm a pretty upbeat person. I laugh and I have a good damn time whenever I feel like it. And stuff. Anyways, even though I'm upbeat and all, I'm still pretty realistic. I'm not waiting for my damn "Prince Charming" ; there isn't one. Anywho, we ALL know that one person who is so positive. For me, I know, A LOT of friggin' positive girls.

I DON'T GET IT. How can they be SOO happy. There's murder, rape, and world hunger, and what do ya know? Here she comes...I swear, she is a naive optimist who walks around VOMITING sunshine. Look, I don't friggin' blame her, wait, no, actually I do. I use to be JUST like her. Walking around basically vomiting sunshine at random people. Ew.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I like happy people, other times I don't and other times, I'm happy VOMITING sunshine and rainbows at people. I seriously think I suffer from bipolar disorder. Or some other kind of severe mental problem.

I'm leaving now. I'm damn tired and I have homework to friggin' do. And I need a new damn pet. That pet was the most precious, most expensive thing I had. I loved that thing. The only thing I purely loved and cared for. I don't think you understand exactly HOW MUCH I loved my dog. If I ever find the damn driver, I WILL kill him. I've seen enough crime shows, I think I'll get away with it. You just don't mess with my dogs or my books. You just don't.

I Like Being Me!

Hi, read on, read on.

Hi, if you know me, you know I'm overweight. And, you know what? I like it. You know why? I'll tell you why! I will tell you! If any of you get offended, I'm sorry, DEAL WITH IT. I have been dealing with it my whole life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not healthy, but, in reality nothing is "healthy" and even if you really try you can't have a "healthy" life style. Trust me. I've tried. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Anyways, I like being fat because I can eat what I want. What I've noticed when I go out to eat with thin people, they're are all like

"No, no, I'll have a water and salad. No avocados."

Well, guess what? I'm already fat, I don't give a crap. I don't go Wendy's to get a salad, I got to Wendy's to get a Baconator. Those are good. :)

Another reason would be no one notices crap. If you're thin, and you gain give pounds, you're most likely up two sizes already and everyone is making a big deal about it. If you're fat and you gain weight, no one notices. I dyed my hair, I cut my hair, I gained weight, and no one noticed! I tell you, it really works!

Moreover, bigger girls ACTUALLY have a personality. I mean, growing up, people automatically liked you for having nice hair, and being thin. You never had to do anything special you just were. Guess what? No one "automatically" liked me. I was the chubby girl who had frizzy hair. I had to try, I had to develop a personality. I wasn't cute, so I had to be nice or funny. So, I have a sense of humor and sometimes I'm nice. I have a great smile, by the way.

The best part about being fat is the gays. I have known so many gay guys. They're just fun, they're lively, bubbly. I don't really know, but there is just something about the gays and fat girls, we just come together. We have a good time.

And that is why I like being me.

Why Would ANYONE Listen To Their Heart??

Hello, and welcome to my blog.

Why would ANYONE listen to their heart? Your brain is in your head. Your heart is stupid. Your heart doesn't know anything. All it does is feel a bunch of crap that you're clearly NOT suppose to feel. Yeah. Don't EVER listen to your heart.

Ever. I'm serious.

Now, now, children. Y'all might wonder what horrible love life I have. I don't. I've actually never had a real boyfriend. I've never been really kissed, nothing really. I'm a lonely person. Hugs? Yeah, who the hell doesn't give hugs? That's like saying hello nowadays.

Now, y'all are thinking I'm this disfigured freak. I'm not. I'm not beautiful, I'm not perfect, I'm not pretty, I'm okay. I'm not thin, I'm just okay-- We'll get into that next time. That a whole different story.

Anywho, yes. Never, ever, ever, listen to your heart. Your heart is nothing. It just feels crap it shouldn't be feeling. You have to turn it off. My heart is officially turned off. You better turns your off, too. If you expect too much, you're going to get hurt. If you care too much, you're going to get hurt. If you actually FEEL anything, TOWARDS anyone, you WILL get hurt. I'm just saying.

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

I assume you all have heard "Whip My Hair" By Willow Smith. Have you seen the video? If not, check it out below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U

Go. Watch it. Now.

Good. You're back. Okay, let's go over this friggin' video.

Okay, so the video starts with her in a friggin' school that's like for zombies or some crap like that and she comes on, with her hair braided in a friggin' heart. What? What the hell? Seriously. Who the hell does she think she is, Lady Gaga? And then she has like diamond STICKERS on her lip...what? Please, someone...EXPLAIN! Her eyelashes have some kind of friggin' SNOW on them. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy to wear mascara at such a young age.

Moving on, she dips her HAIR into PAINT. Seriously...who DOES that? Wait, wait, here comes the best part...she "WHIPS HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH!", and in SECONDS she paints the whole room. What? No, no, hold up, and then they all just whip their hair back and forth. The teacher comes and she..."WHIPS HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH"...and then theres this part with a baby "dropping low"

I mean...WHAT? After watching that... I was literally SCARRED for life. Don't get me wrong, this is better than Justin Beaver-Teeth, but, I PRAY for future generations music.

I mean, what? Yet, again, she sounds better than most of todays ADULT singer, the song has the same quality, the same meaning as other songs played in the radio, and a CHILD sang this. Poor thing, she must have had neck-pain and massive headaches after that video...

I kinda like the song. After a few hundred plays, it does get annoying. The dreaded time for my departure has arrived, I shall leave and quip my quill to and fro.

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

...I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

....Byez

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

Haha, I GOTCHA

A Special Night; REALLY SHORT STORY!

I knew tonight was going to be special, everyone was talking about the ball. Since a few weeks back, it was the talk of town, everyone in the high society was attending the precious and expensive ball. I was anxious, nervous, and excited, tonight was the ball. I had my creamy light yellow dress all ready, my hair was curled; tonight was the big night!

As I entered the room, I saw many familiar faces, and many unknown. My creamy light yellow dress stood out against darker colors, such as navy blue, purple, and green. Instead of taking this as a fail, I took it as an advantage. I was finally going to be noticed.

A gentleman caught my eye, he wore a rather fancy black suit, a top hat, and freshly polished shoes. His hair was brown and it had slight curls and the most amazing smile I'd ever seen. As soon as he smiled, I smiled back. He was perfect. I turned to Veronica and quietly told her about what had just recently happened.

"He smiled at me! That one over there Do you know anything about him?" I hurriedly whispered. She discreetly glanced over.

"His name is Stefan Anthony Scott, he works for my father. He is a hard worked, handsome, and a really sweet gentleman. You got yourself a good one, Miranda." She whispered back.

The songs started and gentlemen started to walk to the ladies and asked them to dance. I was so excited I was sweating. Tonight is going to be a special night! I thought as I saw him walking towards me out of the corner of my eye. Veronica, who was right beside me, discreetly nudged me. I nodded back and smiled.

I felt him behind me.

"Excuse me?" He said in a deep, sweet, caramel coated voice. Take a deep breath! I slowly turned.

"Yes?" I said as I smiled into his sweet brown eyes.

"Um, can you call your friend, Veronica. You're her friend, Anabelle, right?" He said, in that hypnotizing voice,

"I'm Miranda. I'll call her right away." I said as I turned and walked towards Veronica.

"How'd it go?" She asked

"He wants to dance with you. He's in love with you." I said, in a daze.

"What?" She asked, clearly confused.

"Just. Go." I said. I faked a smile, swallowed my pride, and nodded.

I watched her as she walked towards him, with such a grace, such an elegance. I swallowed my tears, my pride, and I watched them dance. They made such a good couple, both elegant, rich, and flawless. They were in sync, their moves went smoothly, as if practiced. Right then, I knew they were soul mates, and I couldn't do a thing about it. I did what I always did when I was let down or disappointed; I smiled. The song ended and they went out to the balcony and talked.

A year later they were married. Two years later they had children. And all I could do was smile. For I was the Godmother, I was the neighbor helping with the troubles, celebrating the good news, crying for the bad. Indeed, that night was a special night.

Positive Teachers

Crappy Blog

Enjoy

We all have that ONE teacher who is so positive about everything. My English teacher finds more meaning in words than the ACTUAL author. The thing that bothers me, the only thing she suggests the author is trying to say is all positive things. NO, NO, NO! What I see is the lady is HUNGRY, the bird does not "symbolize" hope, it "symbolizes" FOOD. Gosh. >:(

I also am pretty sure Shakespeare was a PEDOPHILE or something. In Romeo And Juliette, Juliette is 13 and it is suggested that Romeo was in this late teens, so were the others. What kind of TWISTED AUTHOR DOES THAT? Seriously.

Another positive teacher I have, I really like her. She like, rubs off all her positiveness on me. I'm positive and happy after that class. She kinda gives me hope, and all that happy, lovey-dovey crap. She makes me believe. I don't like it.

Well, that is all. Go read another friggin' blog post or friggin' comment.

Bottled Up Inside

Crappy Poem

Enjoy

Pride won't let me cry

Perfection won't let me quit

Troubles won't let me go

I'm stuck in the middle

It's all bottled up inside

But there comes a moment

Were you can't

You just can't

Theres no room

Theres no space

It's all bottled up inside

You know what's worse?

When you don't have anyone

When you do, you don't want to burden them

They're smiles, they're laughs

It's too much to destroy

Just hide it and

Bottle it up inside

It's bad when you have to go through it alone

You wipe your own tears

You hug your own self

You are your own best friend

It's too much

It's all bottled up inside

There's nothing you can do

There's nothing you can show.

The fear of being judged

Of being laughed at

Of being humiliated

Once happened

Never again

So, it's all bottled up inside

See, the rest don't really understand

They all have someone

A person who is there to catch you when you fall

Some of us don't have anyone

Some of us have to get through this alone.

It's all bottled up inside

You get nowhere with this

Pride won't let you cry

Perfection won't let you quit

Troubles build up

It's a vicious cycle of trouble

It's all bottled up inside.

A World Full Of Words

Yet Another Crappy Poem

Enjoy.

As she exits the library,

Beaming with pleasure, anxiety, and joy

She knows what it's front of her, yet she doesn't.

A new book.

A new adventure.

She slowly opens the book,

Safe at home, in her room

On her old white chair, with a coffee mug by her side

She sits there for hours

Lost in the book

Lost in the story

Lost in a world full of world

She sits for hours,

She reads and reads,

until she gets ordered to go to bed

She finishes one, two, three books a day

Absorbing, learning, knowing

Learning from authors

Learning from the characters

Learning from a world full of words

A lot wonder why she does it

Is she a nerd?

She really likes reading?

She does it when she needs an escape

A book is the best it gets

She doesn't need drugs,

She doesn't need alcohol

A book will do the trick.

A world full of words

She knows that

A book holds the key to whole new world

It's more of a portal to a new universe.

A book can teach her more than any teacher

A book can hold you

A book can help you escape while you don't even move

A book will lend a hand

A book will give advice

A book will be her best friend.

And that, she knows.

A book is a world full of adventures

Full of stories

Full of advice

Full of everything that nobody can give her

A book is a world full of words

Heart Breaker

Crappy Poem

Enjoy.

Heart Breaker.

It's over. Let's take a break.

That's what you are

Not really innocent,

I didn't do it!

Not really in fault.

So sweet, so pure, so cynical

So sinister

Such a sweetheart, such a gentlemen

Such a heart breaker.

I guess I should thank you,

Might as well do it now,

Thank you!

You can trust me.

Thank you so much!

You know I'd never hurt you

Thanks for letting me know,

Thanks for teaching me,

That friends make the best liars.

Thank you for letting me trust

Thanks for letting me down.

It's over. Let's take a break.

Thank you, Heart Breaker

I guess I should warn the other, too

Hey, what's your name?

He's a sweetheart, he's a gentlemen

He's smart, he has wit,

I love that, too!

He has resources, he has contacts

He's a dream...that slowly turns into a nightmare

He's a Heart Breaker

I always watched my back

Ready for the next backstabber,

I was just kidding!

Ready for the next mistake

I didn't mean to!

Ready for the next excuse

Ready for the next secret

The next betrayal.

I would never hurt you.

Too bad I didn't see what was in front of me

I guess it's all right,

Call it a mistake, if that makes you feel better

I'm sorry!

You want to know something?

Hear me ou--

Not this time, Romeo

This time you were cheated

This time you lost.

See?

I can be,

Just.

Like.

You.

A Heart Breaker.

What Do You Know?

Crappy Poem

Enjoy.

What do you know of pain, of betrayal, of rage?

When they humiliate you until they're satisfied

When you can't seem to find any more tears

When they hurt you all the way to your soul

What do you know?

What do you know of

Hundred of days, that seemed like eternity

Of the pushing and the shoving and the name calling

Feeling like you're lost, dead, empty, but surviving

When pain is all you have inside

What do you know?

Tell me,

Do you know real pain?

Answer me.

What do you know.

What do you know of

When you really admire and adore a person

When they treat you like your trash

When you want to tell them

But you know you can't

They'll laugh and they'll keep on teasing

And you know you have to keep quiet as

Pain and embarrassment consume you

What do you know?

What do you know of

Having a wish,

Having hope,

Having something driving you forward

Having something keeping you alive

When that gets crushed,

You are forced to grow up

In a matter of seconds, of minutes, of hours

And are forced to face the truth.

What do you know about that?

I Still Don't Know How To "Dougie"

I was listening to the radio, just, like yesterday. A song came one "Teach Me How To Dougie" and of course, my brother liked it. So we went online and looked for the music video. It was the stupidest thing ever. To make matters worse, I still don't know how to "Dougie"

What is up with singers these days?? Taylor Swift, yeah, her songs are good, but Carrie Underwood, Danielle Peck, there's a lot of artist who are way better than her, but they get no recognition. It makes me mad. Real mad.

Also, today's music. Like on popular radio stations, the songs are just unbelievable! What the hell is "Dougie" and even after watching the video, I still don't know. I see guys having weird seizures, but I think that's what they call "dancing".... Wow, I'm....shocked. I'm enraged.

What's the meaning--the purpose of the song? The lyrics make no sense, whatsoever. They have countless obscene words, degrading, actually. Are these guys for real? Were they like..... high or something?

What do you guys think of the song? Am I being unreasonable, crazy? Do you like the song?

Bad For Me

Don't you hate it, all the things we love are bad for us. I mean, it's either illegal, immoral, or bad.

C'mon! I know I'm pretty lame, I enjoy museums, libraries, and reading in my spare time. BUT, sometimes, rarely, I like to go out and have fun.But, when I do, it gets fun, I think. I turn up the music and I dance around to hip-hop, not only country. I laugh, and I'm just fun! Haha!

Anyways, still, why is EVERYTHING that feels so DANG good, bad for me?? I like chocolate, but my hips sure don't. I like shopping, but my purse sure don't. Oh, and the occasional crush on the "bad boy" or someone who doesn't EVEN glance at you! Haha, good times...good times. I like fast cars, but, you know what, the law sure don't. Haha, I'm in the mood for good, hearty, teenage fun.

BUT, I'm stuck at home, blogging, and listening to country, in the middle of a new book, it's actually pretty good! I got sucked in, until my eyes started burning... You know, I think the only reason I read is because I have no life. Seriously, I like being in someone else's shoes. The affairs, the lies, the cheating, the meeting new people, the falling in love. Seriously, from reading I've had lung cancer, I've fallen in love, and I've been to heaven. Pretty cool, actually.

Anyways, yeah. Don't you hate things that are bad for you, but you love them? I just don't get it! Why do you think that everything that feels so dang good bad for us?

Would Revenge Ever Be Justified?

Hey, y'all! So, I've been thinking, I KNOW BIG SHOCKER! Anywho, is revenge EVER justified. I'm not really sure how I feel about revenge. Sometimes I do feel like getting revenger but it's wrong. Would it ever be justified? Would it ever be right?

Now, heres how I see it. If it's something small, like stealing your boyfriend, or a pencil, then it's not worth getting revenge. What are you going to do? Steal their pencil? Oh, how scary. Yeah, I'm shaking. Also, a big point here would be karma. What goes around comes around. Oh, trust me on this. It really does.

Yet, if it's something big, like embarrassing you in front of the whole school...well, you could get him or her back, but there would also be no point. Except a small moment of joy, and then you'd probably get expelled. So, not worth it. There's also karma. If things are bad, I promise you, they're gonna get good! I promise you!

Well, I think that's all. And, that is the question. Is revenge ever justified? Is it worth it? Comment! I'm always up for a good debate!

Am I Realistic Or Simply Bitter?

I've been thinking....and for a while now. And, like, for reals! Anyways, I've been thinking.

I really don't believe in "true love" or "a life full of happiness". Oh, and positive people. Some positive people just drive me nuts! The most positive I get is "I'm positive I hate you." Haha, but I do try to be positive, most of the time. :D

Anyways, I don't think "true love" exists. There's lust, and there a lot of other components that make a person feel that they are "in love" and that its "forever true love" and whatnot. It's not. Seriously, grow up. That is my opinion, I know people IN LOVE, but after a few years it's over. Love never lasts. Girls are so gullible now adays. I feel like slapping them. ALL OF 'em!

Now, you got to find other ways to make it alone, or just don't care. I think it's better if you keep a safe distance from everyone, I think I'm pretty contempt with loneliness. I mean, once you think you really like someone and you think it's going to be different, and then you trust, and then it's over. So much for love. Haha.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in love. I just believe in love towards other people. Like caring for others, helping kids in Africa, sending money over there. Going out there and helping. Giving a woman in the street your spare change. Little ways to show that you care. That is what I believe in.

I don't believe in a life "full of happiness". I mean, that is just....not possible. Seriously, it's like saying

"When I sing, my voice sounds like an opera singer and Jesus, and then I take the form of a unicorn."

No, just no. We all have our share of troubles, and things to worry about. I, like, don't really belive all that in happiness. I know a lot of people who base their happiness on what another person is feeling, and I think it's not healthy. It's the other person, take charge of your OWN emotions and your OWN feelings. Stop saying things like

"Oh, if she's happy, then I'm happy."

What the heck? Why base YOUR emotion on SOMEONE ELSE'S emotions? They can feel whatever they want to feel. Live and let live. Poor people, I seriously think that is a form of manipulation.

The only form of happiness that I actually believe is in small moments of TRUE happiness, and once you experience them, you have to keep them, and hold on tight to them. Those small moments that you hold on to, those will help you go through this hell, that we call life. And, that is what I believe in.

So, do you agree, or not? Why? I mean, I do point some pretty interesting points. Comment!! Make sure to leave your name!! I do love a good debate!

I'm 95% Retarded!!

1. [x] You have choked on water before.

2. [x] You have tripped down the stairs before.

3. [x] You have walked into a door.

4. [x] You have pushed a door the wrong way.

5. [x] You have walked into a wall.

6. [x] You have fallen going UP the stairs.

7. [x] You have jumped off something.

8. [x] You have been electrocuted.

9. [x] You have put metal/aluminum in the microwave.

10. [x] Right after a commercial comes on you forgot the show you were watching.

11. [x] You have forgotten something that someone said.

12. [x] You sometimes dont understand stuff / jokes, or it takes a long time to figure them out.

14. [x] You have been bleeding and not even noticed it.

15. [x] You've worn something backwards / inside out the whole day without knowing.

16. [x] You have stuck a fork / knife in a toaster before.

17. [x] You have played with fire.

18. [ ] You've stepped on a flat iron / curling iron / straightener.

19. [x] You didnt even notice there wasn't a number 13 in this quiz

20. [x] You just checked to see if there wasnt a number 13

I think I'm 95% Retarded. I'm worried.

She Knows....I Just Can't

She knows how to do it,

I don't know how, I'll admit

I know I can't, and I understand

Good choice, is all I'll say, it's just where I stand.

She would've have given you all of her heart,

I just can't, theres someone who just tore it apart,

He took all that I had, I tried to do it again, even though we both know

I just can't.

She's charming and she's cute, all in her own little way

I know I'll never be like her, the same, I'll just stay

She's just beautiful, and she's great

I wished, and I tried to be like her, but we both know

I just can't

It was your fault, but more mine,

Let's face it,

You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart,

Then you realized you wanted something more.

We both knew it wasn't gonna work out,

I wasn't the best,

I wasn't her.

You said you loved me,

And, I loved you, too

Though, we were never in love,

I still love you, and I hope we remain friends

I think you're one hell of a dude, and I look up to you.

It's all right, I know I wasn't the best I could be

And you did your best to understand,

I'm not in the place to say what you did wrong, it's not where I stand.

I think you did a great job, and you're a great person.

So, let's just be friends, and nothing ever more.

And I wish you the best for the future, and good luck with everything else the future brings

By the way...are we still up for those chess things?

The Old Days, But Everything Is Fine Now (Part II)

I stared at moon, smiling as the clear navy blue sky, and the rain slowly fell

Like tears, crying for the past, mourning for the present, and wishing for the future

Yeah, I miss you,

But it's okay, in the end,

Sometimes we just have to grow up and suck it up.

Sometimes you think you can't be strong, but you can, especially when it's the only thing you have left to be.

Sometimes you think you don't have the ability to hate, until it's the only thing you feel towards everyone.

And sometimes, when you're in the hole of loneliness an darkness you think you can't smile, or laugh, or be happy again, until you are.

Everything passes, it just takes time and patience.

Everything changes, everything moves.

Every tear you shed is replaced by smiles.

Everything changes, everything shifts.

Don't get too comfortable, it's all gonna end.

The important thing is that you overcome it, and you overtake it

You don't have to be what everyone else wants you to be,

There's way more to life than doing what they all want you to do,

If that slipper don't fit, well, don't wear it at all,

Why tip-toe on glass, when your bare feet in the grass feel so damn good

Reach up and try to catch a shooting star, hold on to it, and don't ever let it go

Lock your fears somewhere where they never get out,

Don't let nobody knock you down, and, girl, you know why?

Because today is when theres no fears, nothing holding you down,

This is your happily ever after

We all have to grow up,

We all have to be strong

We all go through our share of pain and grief, but in the end, it's all worth it.

I thought, as I stood up and I smiled, up at the moon.

I'm fine alone, I'm fine with no one, I think I'm doing all right.

I Miss...Part I

As the cold wind intertwined his fingers into mine, freezing my fingers

The past comes to the present to look at my future,
The wind blows my hair back and I close my eyes as this world spins and swirls and twirls

Two little beautiful girls

I miss everything.

I miss the songs, and the singing

Though I'm not good, but it was fun, it was worth it.

We burst out into random songs at random times,

It was like Glee, lol, but better

I felt real good after I sang, and I still do.

But this time I sing quietly because I got told I wasn't good

I got told that I should just "Shut up! You have no future."

From that day on, I have.

I miss everything.

I miss the books and the writing.

Ha, remember my poems?

Do you really remember what I wrote?

Did you like it?

Do you remember how we use to keep a journal filled with poems?

Those were the days. Were we told our stories and our feeling through poetry.

I miss everything.

I miss the music.

The new bands, and the new singers.

The country and the screamo.

The rap and the hip-hop.

Knitting and talking. Good times.

I miss everything.

But most of all I miss you.

I miss how you really knew me.

You knew I only cried when things got tough.

When I couldn't take it anymore, and you were always there.

You knew whose ass needed to be kicked and when.

You knew why I wrote and why I sang.

We even wrote and sang together.

You knew my deepest secret and I knew yours.

You knew how I didn't get jealous, and when I did I overcame it.

You knew how I got when I got angry.

You knew how I laughed and smiled to make others day, even when I had had the worst day.

You knew how I wanted to be a veterinarian and I wanted lots of animals.

You knew who I was and why I was that.

You saw my grow and you saw me shrink

Into a shell that no one passed but you never gave up and you broke it.

Into someone who felt so small, and so useless and stupid.

Someone who was told she wasn't worth anything, who got teased and pushed.

"Look at her" they all whispered. They all laughed.

But you were always there in the end. Always.

Until we had to go our separate ways,

You had to go yours and I had to go mine.

I was left alone, and I thought I could make it.

Turns out I can't.

I can't take it no more.

I need you, I need you bad.

I have so much to say, but no one to hear.

I have so much to show, but no one to show.

I have so much to give, but no one to give it to.

It turns out I'm weak, and I can't trust anyone.

The closest I have to a friend is an enemy.

I miss everything.

But most of all,

The one thing I'd trade,

I'd give ANYTHING for,

Is you.

My Goals...I think.

I am feeling better now. You know what always makes me feel better? Ugly Betty. As odd as that sounds, she does make me feel better. I just had my good cry on the last episode....I feel so good now. But, I wonder, why does everything turn out good in the end? Why can't it be in the middle or something, why does something else have to end, before you can get the better stuff...it's just so complicated.

Anywho, I know remember who I am. What I want to do. Yet, I don't know who I am, or what I'm going to do. I mean, I love psychology, it's so interesting, but I love writing. I also like complex things that make you think. Such as puzzles, word searches, and whatnot. My possible career options are varied from psychologist, journalist (writer), lawyer, and the least possible one to happen, detective.

I've always wondered how people think, and the "Why" under everything. Why do people do this, or why do they do that. I also love, love writing. Though, I'm not very good. I think I'd like to start off in journalism or something, then proceed to becoming a full on writer. Writing is something that I really, really like. I love it. It makes me feel...complete, alive, content.

Yet I want something that I can live off, I want to be a good writer, I want to be the best. I also want to live in London, or New York. I want to be the "cool aunt in London" or "my awesome tia in New York" I mean, seriously. Whenever I think of that, that is my dream. I get all excited. That is what I want to do. I'm just confused, who'd hire me?

I also want to lose weight. Though, no matter how much I lose it wont matter much. See, I have an overall big frame. I am never, ever, EVER, going to fit in size 2 jeans, or size 4. Never. This one time I did lose a lot of weight, and I looked horrible. My cheeks were sunken in, you could see my cheek bones, my clothes were all baggy, I kinda looked homeless....anyways, yeah.

I AM going to be nicer, and friendlier, and just nice. I am so mean, I seriously need to stop. I mean, fear can be good, to a certain point, then it's more of an abuse, dontcha think?

So, I am confused about my career. Psychology, Journalism, Lawyer, Detective? What suits me best, can can you see me doing? Also, why are things better in the end?

Amirite? or Am I Wrong??

Hey, everyone!! So, I was talking to this one teacher. She had told the class to not do a part of some paper, and I did it, you know, to make sure. She made a comment that I did not like. You know what she said? She said:

"Go sit down, I'm the teacher, I'm always right"

I was so shocked. Not only because I got in trouble for doing MORE work. Because she had just said that I was wrong, and just because she was the teacher, that she was right. I so mad after that! I mean, what kind of logic is that??? I counted and did my anger management exercises to not talk back to her or say anything to get in trouble...but seriously! Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but that is not fair at all!!!! AT ALL!

Another teacher called me "defensive" and that it was "going to hold me back in life". Well, excuse me, Mr, when, exactly, did YOU become God. Why are YOU judging me? WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME??!!?!?!?!??!?!?!? It's my life, and after I finish my career, I can do whatever I want. I can be however I want. Why are you so worried about me? It's not like you care! I was soo mad. I almost like, transformed into hulk right then and there.

One thing you HAVE to know about me is you don't want to be on my bad side....especially if you're a teacher. If you're not a teacher, still. I can totally ignore you. I can make you cry, and make you feel bad. With no cussing. No yelling. No foul language. I am THAT kind of person. Sorry.

I can also be very playful, and nice, and funny. If you're a guy, and I punch you, I'm playing around, don't take it personal. Gosh, am I having trouble with that. I'm playing around! I'm sorry, I thought you were a guy. You aren't suppose to punch me back. Or hit me. If you really have a problem...TALK TO ME!! I cannot read minds!! (I'm working on that...lol) You have to COMMUNICATE!! I will stop. Other than that, I can be very weird, and funny, and just....me!

And, that is all. I think I'm done with todays' rant...look forward for tomorrows rant!! lol...Seriously...PEOPLE THESE DAYS!! GAHHH!!!

That Night

Old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old poem. Fiction. OLD, OLD POEM...No, I've never been seventeen. lol!

I wrote this when I was eleven...Try not to be so hard on me....lol

We both loved him, though, I have to say, she called him first

We'd been through rough times, but maybe this was one of the worst

Let me begin my tale of making the right decision,

When my head shouted "Who cares??!" and my heart whispered "You do, stupid"

This wasn't going to end well, was my vision.

He had amazing blue eyes, that sparkled in the day and sparkled in the night

His smile, crooked, sweet and bright.

He had a nice body, I do admit,

For he played many sports, he was fit.

His personality was simply great,

And we discussed him, and that when it began, our debate.

She fell for him first, but I quickly followed

I told her, for she was my best friend,

Told her we were going to play fair and square.

I laughed and I played,

Making sure I won the game.

She was beautiful, long brown hair, arcane eyes, and a contagious smile.

Let's not even mention her style!

I was surprised when he called me at ten at night

"Meet me at the park." He simply said,

"All right." I said, not sure what was ahead.

I walked to the park, and he was already there,

Laying there, in the grass, he looked like an angel, so magical, so rare

"Lay down with me." He whispered in the frilly night

I did as he said, and we stared at the night sky,

The moon was bright, such a sight.

"What." I finally managed out.

"I love you." He whispered, so this was what it was about.

He turned to me, and his eyes showed truth,

But this was the peak of our youth.

I didn't know what to do, I loved my best friend,

But I loved him too.

He leaned in to kiss me,

I turned and he kissed my cheek.

"Wha--" he started. I knew he would disagree, but it was one or the other.

"Come on, we're young, we won't be seventeen forever, we can get away with this tonight" he whispered in my ear.

"This is wrong, lets get it all clear," I started.

"I love you, but I can't do this to her." I barely stammered, as I looked away,

"I understand" I finally heard him say.

"I'm sorry." I said as tears filled my eyes,

"It's okay, she's lucky to have you as a best friend, you are very wise." he whispered.

I didn't leave we stayed there and we talked and we laughed and we became friends,

It was all good, and I tried with him, to make amends.

That night I gained a new friend, and I kept an old friend.

She never found out about that night, it would not have been bright to tell her.

I gave him up after that, this game was stupid, and it wasn't worth it.

A year later he moved, and we all cried, and we hugged, and we all were sad.

We exchanged numbers, addresses, emails, cell phone numbers, everything to keep in contact.

As I said goodbye at the airport, before he left, as he hugged me he whispered:

"I love you and I'll always will, especially after That Night."

Taking Risks

Taking risks is a big step. BUT, no matter how big it is, or how small. Or if it's wrong or right,in the ned you're always glad you take that risk. So, I took a risk. And, now, guess who has a fabulous boyfriend? ME! Haha!

He is nerdy, and a little dorky, but that is so attractive. He has amazing hair, and it's brown. He wears glasses, yum. Haha! He is the most romantic and fabulous guy ever. He is simply amazing. It's incredible how incredible he is. He is like flawless. He respects me, and he actually likes me. He likes who I am. I don't have to pretend, or wish anything. AND, AND, he's cute. I took a risk, and it turned out to be a wonderful.

My point is, taking risks, is good. It's good, whether the risk is good or bad...take it. The ending will most likely turn out good. My risk was wonderful. I can't believe it. He's like...not real. I really like him. I feel so lucky! I just don't wanna mess up. Not with him.

I mean, there's so many OTHER girls, who are thinner, and shorter, and prettier. I mean, he is like...wow. Haha. He's funny, and he is cute. Really cute. Ladies, back off. Seriously. I just feel insecure about all this. I mean, bleh. He is amazing. And, I don't wanna mess up. He is amazing. Just great. Don't be jealous, lady friends.

P.S Back off. Seriously. lol

Thank you!

Hey everyone! Well, I just wanted to shout out a great big THANK YOU! To all of you. For giving me a chance. For knowing me. For being you. Oh, that was SO corny. Yet it is true. And whatnot.

I also want to thank everyone out there giving me a chance, and whatnot. You are special. I am just hoping this is not a dream. I hope I never wake up, if I do, I will so hate it. I actually really like you! This had been a one-of-a-kind thing, I am not use to it. So I apologize in advance if I do something stupid.

Moving to lighter things! My mom gave our little shih tzu a hair cut. Poor thing. I hope she doesn't develop psychological problems. She looks like something freaking...chewed her. I was cracking up when I first saw her. Poor thing. lol

Moving on...I am so freaking happy!! Many of you have heard "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars. The song is pretty corny, and at first, I hated it. Like with my whole soul. I was like 'Really? Who listens to that?? Ugh!" My feelings have changed. Ah, the joys of being a hormonal teenager.

What have you guys been up to? Any good songs? Bad songs? Do you like being a hormonal teenager?

Phenomenal Woman

Ahhh, things are not going my way. I got a C in my Biology test, which I am going to retake on Wednesday. Eww. I got a B+ in my Geometry test, but I got in trouble, so I want to retake that one again, too.
BUT, I have so many things on my mind. I decided to do something daring, and be honest, and positive, and be actually nice. I know I have been mean lately, but some people are just plain stupid, and they just get me mad. I want to like shake them, and throw them against something. But, I don't I count to 20. But, seriously, people.
Most of the time I can control myself, and other times I end up punching someone. lol
So, here is a poem, not written by me, but it's pretty cool. I like it. So, this week, I will be doing something daring for the weekend, and this whole week I'll be nice, smile more,I'll be as honest as I can, and I'll be nice. So there. You guys should do it, too. Come one, and tell me how it goes!


Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
-Maya Angelou

So, yeah. Have a PHENOMENAL day. LOL...see what I did there?? Haha!

Perfect Teeth??

I wish I had perfect teeth...I have a crooked tooth on my bottom set of teeth so...yeah. Since I was young, I practiced a way to smile that only showed my top half of my teeth, because I am too self-conscious about the other half. So, it looks real, but it's not. When I smile a REAL smile, you can see my dimples. So there.

I know a lot of people complaining about braces, and how they're "going to have them forever" BUT I wish I could get braces. I mean, probably then I could have perfect teeth. But braces isn't an option unless I have some sort of surgery done, because I am missing teeth two on both bottom and top half of my teeth. Also, money. No money - No braces. So, quit complaining I would have braces for 5 years, in order to have perfect teeth. I mean, after a year or two YOU'RE going to have nice teeth, on the other hand, I'm not.

So stop complaining. Please. And secretly, I've always thought that people with braces are 1.) Nicer 2.)Prettier and 3.) Smarter. I like people with braces, I don't have anything against people without braces, but yeah. Just making a point...
Well, bloggers...FARWELL!

21st Birthday Ideas!

So, I was thinking...I need a job. And I need moolah! Mucho Dinero! lol...I do need money though. So, I was thinking for my 21st birthday, I'm going to LONDON!! Or Britain...or somewhere near there. I want to go and explore and stuff. I then want to go to Paris, and oh, I also want to go to Africa. BUT first London. So, I'm going to start saving up money for the trip. I want to have MONEY. BUNCHES. OF. MONEY. I want to stay at a 5 star hotel, get the finest service, I want to have the best camera. I want the best everything. I need money though. I am going to start working, now at a young age, so by the time I'm 21 I will most likely have a few thousand. I wonder how dollars and pounds relate.

I do have a few extra pounds a few places...lol, not the money kind! I want to go with a few friends, or maybe with a boyfriend..but not going to happen. I think I'm going alone. Most likely alone. I can see myself, walking the busy streets of London, in the winter, alone. The cold winter air gently piercing my oddly-dark-tannished skin, as it's icy fingers reach down my neck. I can see myself at a Cafe...What do they speak in London...French? English? Hmm...how I wonder. But, that is my plan.
That's what I'm going to do for my 21st birthday...so exciting!!

I'm looking for a job right now. Most likely babysitting, or yard sales for now. When I'm older I think I might get a part-time job...or something. I just need a way to get money--legally. Haha! Looking for a job, anyone need anything for now?? lol! Well, TTYL!

My Feeling For You

I hate you so much,
I think I'm starting to like your touch.
I hate you so much,
Every time you're near I have to clutch
something to remind me it's real.
I hate you so much,
You're changing the way I feel.

I hate your touch
And I hate you a bit too much
I hate that I hate you with such passion
With such love.
I hate that you kiss her, and not me.
I hate that you hug her, and not me
I hate that you like her, more than me
I hate your stupid smile, that makes me weak
I hate your stupid eyes, that can see my emotions, loud and clear
I hate your hands, your touch takes me out of this world
I hate being overweight, geeky, and stupid.
I hate being me, and not her.
I hate you.
I hate you so much I like you.
I hate you so much, so, so, so much.
But most of all,
I hate how much I don't hate you, I hate how much I love you, and that you hold her not me.
I hate that I don't even hate you a little bit,
not a little, nothing at all.

Got a puppy!

Hey, hey. Haha...check out my puppy!! She's a bundle of fur running around the house! She's soo loveable!

He's Getting Married Today

He's getting married today
I knew this would happen someday,
I just didn't expect it this soon.
I sat up all night, staring at the moon,
Wondering why this had to happen, I thought I had a little more time
A little more time to be with you,
I honestly had no clue

All this started when you met her, at that cafe
She had a chance, you gave her a chance
I tried not to display my dismay,
As you started, with her, a great romance.
I didn't expect you to get married,
All my hopes and dreams got buried

Roses and roses, oh look, another bouquet
You proposed to her in that same cafe
On a Wednesday afternoon,
And spent the night with her, talking, sharing dreams and hopes,
Names, and plans, out in the big bright stars, staring at the full moon
On that sweet, warm night in June

You eagerly told me all about her, and what you liked
You always told me all about her, even when I didn't want to hear it
And, yes, I'll admit it,
She sounds perfect,
I hope I'm incorrect,
I just don't want you to get married today
Don't you dare, my faith, and trust betray

But, she's beautiful in her simple little way
She don't have to much to say
Even when she gets mad
She understand everything and all
Guess I should've been more like that
Too bad He's getting married today

I know you're happy
And I'm happy for you
But since you found her,
It's obvious who you prefer
Since
He's getting married today
I just don't know how to say

I know there's a soul out there for mine
I was sent here to find
But, tell me,
what if it's you
What if it's true?
I don't know how to tell you, or even what to say
All since you're getting married today

If I had the chance to hold you,
If I had the chance, to find out if it's true
If you can feel the same way,
If you can only stay,
Please, just one chance,
Just one dance, just one more glance,
Please, stay.
Please, don't get married married today.

That Makes Me Crazy

Random poem. Stir of the moment, had an incident today, I know, it's dumb, and stupid, but it was fun writing it. :D


We've known each other for years
Even though you're a little strange
You've heard and listened with both ears
I hope you never change
Just the way you are, being with you
That makes me crazy

The way you smile,
that makes me smile, and suddenly
Everything, it's all worthwhile.
Your smile, sweet and lazy
That makes me crazy

I've held this long enough,
I don't want to anymore,
Held this long enough, no more bluff
Can't and won't ignore
All that sneaking and peeking
That makes me crazy

This has gone long enough, it's time to admit
I just want to let you know
I think it's time I tell you, I want to commit
You had me at hello,
You always make me laugh, we joke, and we smile
You're just my type, just my style
I don't know how to tell you
I guess I always knew
But I think I'm falling for you
That makes me crazy

Hey, Welcome!

Hey, everyone,

So, welcome to my new blog thingy...lol...not many people are gonna come here, but if you're extremely bored, and have nothing else to do, or maybe your sick, or depressed...well, here is the place for you. I will be posting things about me, as well of random things...videos, too. Ohh, I got one, poetry. Well, yeah.

I'm a bad speller. Even though, I was in the spelling bee thingy. Twice. lol...