My Goals...I think.

I am feeling better now. You know what always makes me feel better? Ugly Betty. As odd as that sounds, she does make me feel better. I just had my good cry on the last episode....I feel so good now. But, I wonder, why does everything turn out good in the end? Why can't it be in the middle or something, why does something else have to end, before you can get the better stuff...it's just so complicated.

Anywho, I know remember who I am. What I want to do. Yet, I don't know who I am, or what I'm going to do. I mean, I love psychology, it's so interesting, but I love writing. I also like complex things that make you think. Such as puzzles, word searches, and whatnot. My possible career options are varied from psychologist, journalist (writer), lawyer, and the least possible one to happen, detective.

I've always wondered how people think, and the "Why" under everything. Why do people do this, or why do they do that. I also love, love writing. Though, I'm not very good. I think I'd like to start off in journalism or something, then proceed to becoming a full on writer. Writing is something that I really, really like. I love it. It makes me feel...complete, alive, content.

Yet I want something that I can live off, I want to be a good writer, I want to be the best. I also want to live in London, or New York. I want to be the "cool aunt in London" or "my awesome tia in New York" I mean, seriously. Whenever I think of that, that is my dream. I get all excited. That is what I want to do. I'm just confused, who'd hire me?

I also want to lose weight. Though, no matter how much I lose it wont matter much. See, I have an overall big frame. I am never, ever, EVER, going to fit in size 2 jeans, or size 4. Never. This one time I did lose a lot of weight, and I looked horrible. My cheeks were sunken in, you could see my cheek bones, my clothes were all baggy, I kinda looked homeless....anyways, yeah.

I AM going to be nicer, and friendlier, and just nice. I am so mean, I seriously need to stop. I mean, fear can be good, to a certain point, then it's more of an abuse, dontcha think?

So, I am confused about my career. Psychology, Journalism, Lawyer, Detective? What suits me best, can can you see me doing? Also, why are things better in the end?