I Miss...Part I

As the cold wind intertwined his fingers into mine, freezing my fingers

The past comes to the present to look at my future,
The wind blows my hair back and I close my eyes as this world spins and swirls and twirls

Two little beautiful girls

I miss everything.

I miss the songs, and the singing

Though I'm not good, but it was fun, it was worth it.

We burst out into random songs at random times,

It was like Glee, lol, but better

I felt real good after I sang, and I still do.

But this time I sing quietly because I got told I wasn't good

I got told that I should just "Shut up! You have no future."

From that day on, I have.

I miss everything.

I miss the books and the writing.

Ha, remember my poems?

Do you really remember what I wrote?

Did you like it?

Do you remember how we use to keep a journal filled with poems?

Those were the days. Were we told our stories and our feeling through poetry.

I miss everything.

I miss the music.

The new bands, and the new singers.

The country and the screamo.

The rap and the hip-hop.

Knitting and talking. Good times.

I miss everything.

But most of all I miss you.

I miss how you really knew me.

You knew I only cried when things got tough.

When I couldn't take it anymore, and you were always there.

You knew whose ass needed to be kicked and when.

You knew why I wrote and why I sang.

We even wrote and sang together.

You knew my deepest secret and I knew yours.

You knew how I didn't get jealous, and when I did I overcame it.

You knew how I got when I got angry.

You knew how I laughed and smiled to make others day, even when I had had the worst day.

You knew how I wanted to be a veterinarian and I wanted lots of animals.

You knew who I was and why I was that.

You saw my grow and you saw me shrink

Into a shell that no one passed but you never gave up and you broke it.

Into someone who felt so small, and so useless and stupid.

Someone who was told she wasn't worth anything, who got teased and pushed.

"Look at her" they all whispered. They all laughed.

But you were always there in the end. Always.

Until we had to go our separate ways,

You had to go yours and I had to go mine.

I was left alone, and I thought I could make it.

Turns out I can't.

I can't take it no more.

I need you, I need you bad.

I have so much to say, but no one to hear.

I have so much to show, but no one to show.

I have so much to give, but no one to give it to.

It turns out I'm weak, and I can't trust anyone.

The closest I have to a friend is an enemy.

I miss everything.

But most of all,

The one thing I'd trade,

I'd give ANYTHING for,

Is you.