Being Outside Your Comfort Zone

Hello, Internet Creatures.

I hate, hate, hate, being outside my comfort zone. I mean, I don't think that any one likes it, but, today I realized there's a whole world out there. Yeah, I barely realized today. There is so much more than what you know, what you have right now, so much better. Yet, we're afraid of trying it.
It's never too late to "renew" yourself. It's never too late to change, or to step out your comfort zone. Which is what I'm going to work on. Starting today. Okay, fine, tomorrow.

Tomorrow, well, mostly because I have a speech for Political Science. And I need to be more outgoing and participate more and whatnot. So, yeah. This is like my personal new made up New Year, with my new New Year's Resolution. Yes. Haha!

Lesson Learned? Yes. Get out of your comfort zone for once! :)

Being a Stalker and Diets

Hi, my name is Brenda and... I'm a chocoholic. Sometimes, I'm so darn pathetic. Sometimes. So, my mom bought this piece of heaven at some store. She bought a Triple Chocolate Cake. We were celebrating some good grade of mine. I think. Or someone's birthday. Anyways, who cares, right? Free cake, gobble, gobble. Gobble. So, then, my mom left to run some errands, I'm not entirely sure what they were, but, she probably went and did whatever mom do. Point is, she left me alone with a piece of heaven AKA Triple Chocolate Cake.

Let's just say. By the time she was back. There was no cake. Wait, before you start judging me, I have to explain. We have ALL been there were we like someone and we kinda, uh, stalk them. Is that just me? Nah, nah, nah. It can't be. Well, anyways, so, while I was waiting pathetically and sadly by the stupid phone for him to call me, I started eating cake. And I also kinda watched the first two season's of Grey's Anatomy. See? Pathetic. But, we have ALL done it. I think. So, at the end of day he never called and I finished the cake. Yay me. Oh, and I helped him get a girlfriend. So, now he has a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure I gained five pounds...

Lesson Learned? Yes. Lesson Number Two: Stalking is bad.

Lesson Number three: Guys suck.

Goodbye now...I think I'll go run and then eat another cake. Cake and tea. Cake = every bit is like a hug. Tea = it's like a hug in a cup. :)

Being An Idiot and S.P.W.S.R.U's

Hello all. Long time no see.

I have a crap load of homework, but I felt as though this uh, issue, should be discussed. So, today we were doing a group activity and I asked a simple question. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: What's you GPA?

S.P.W.S.R.U.: ...

Me: WHAT. IS. YOUR. GPA.

S.P.W.S.R.U.: What?

Me: *walks away in frustration*

S.P.W.S.R.U = Stupid Person Who Shall Remain Unnamed. This conversation was with one of my friends. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my friends, but sometimes, maybe it's because we get not sleep, or SOMETHING but sometimes we are the biggest idiots. Ever. Ah, how I love my friends. We may be idiots, but, I have to admit. We are freakin' hilarious. Not to brag or anything but I'm amazing.

Haha! Anywho, people, lesson learned? Lesson Learned Today: Don't be an idiot.

Thank you. That is all.

Be Happy

Hello, everyone

Well, I've had a very tiresome months. But, it's safe to say that I'm happy. I feel happy, I feel good about myself. Yeah I don't look like most girls, like "the" skinny girls. But I have my personality to make up for it, and I'm smart. Haha! I am happy. Feels good to say that.

Yeah, I don't have a boyfriend, but my dog is better! Haha!

Mostly what has inspired me is Adele and Meghan Tonjes. Those ladies are AH-MAZING! I feel as though I can be anything, do anything, accomplish anything, I feel so pumped and happy. Adele and Meghan Tonjes give me hope. That's what it is. Hope. Hoping against all odds, against all logic.

All in all, I feel happy. Happy to be alive, happy to be single, happy to be free, happy to be me. If I believe and try hard enough, I can do anything. :D Right? YES! YES WE CAN! You can, too. :) Goodbye totally amazing and beautiful people! :D

You Make Me Want Believe In Love

Poem. Crappy poem. Enjoy.

Finally found my way,

Found my way to you

But I'm scared,

And to love, I'm impaired

You make me want to believe in love

Finally found a man

Someone I can trust,

Promise me you wont walk away

You make want me believe in love

I think I'm drowning in your sweet eyes,

Or maybe I'm drowning in your sweet lies

I don't know,

But right now, I really don't care

Hold me, tell me you love me

You make me believe in love

I think I want this,

This wonderful feeling

This bliss, this kiss

Kiss me again, who I really am, you're slowly revealing

Who I once was, you're slowly healing

Tell me again, whisper it in my ear, once again

Erase my fears, erase this pain

Hold me again, I wont complain

You make me want to believe in love

How do you do this?

Why do I melt with every kiss

How do you make me smile?

Why do I get so wild

Don't walk away

Stay, just for today

You make me want to believe in love

Hold me, once more

Kiss me, one more time

I want to stay here forever

Right here, in your arms

Make me smile,

Make me someone else,

Make me believe,

Make me believe in love

Against My Will

You know those amazing people? That give you compliments and just make your day by being alive? Those people you have a crush on but never admit it?

I was holding on to letting go

Too busy being alone to notice you

I never thought you would actually

Sweep me off my feet,

Drag me to the castle, against my will,

Made me your princess and promised me you'll forever be my prince

Against my will,

You gently drag me to the center of the floor

Against my will,

You made me feel something I had never felt before

Against my will,

I got lost inside your mysterious, sweet brown eyes

Against my will,

Your smile made me smile

Against my will

I said I Do

The Promise of A Best Friend

Inspired to make this poem because of best friends. Best friends are amazing. And it sucks when you don't have one. When you're pretty lonely, but you still make it through.

I miss my best friend. Enjoy my crappy poem!:)

If if you fall, I'll carry you

If you cry, I'll cry, too

If you're happy, I'll be happy, too

If you jump, I'll jump, too.

I'll follow you and lift you from the dark

I promise you, we'll be alright

Not the girl I use to know,

Tell me everything you've done,

Tell me what you've become

I'll try to make it better,

Or at least, to keep you together

Don't fall apart just yet,

It's okay, I'm ashamed of what I've done

Of what I've become

I try to keep it together,

I can't fall apart,

Take my hand,

I promise you,

I promise you on everything I have

I promise you on everything I don't have

I promise you, we'll make it through.

It's been a long time,

You've changed,

And I've changed, too.

Yet still, no ones happier

Than I am for you

No one knows me better

You came into my life

At my worst time

I was a wreck

You sat down and said

"It's okay, I'm pretty messed up, too

If if you fall, I'll carry you

If you cry, I'll cry, too

If you're happy, I'll be happy, too

If you jump, I'll jump, too.

I'll follow you and lift you from the dark

I promise you, we'll be alright"

As A Result

As a result of three weeks of doing nothing productive, my poetry has gotten worse than ever. Not only am I now not inspired, when I am inspired I cannot find the correct words to express myself. It get's quite irritating. Another thing that is horrible, I haven't read a book in three weeks. That's like, whoa.

The only productive thing was watch three seasons of "The Mentalist" and watch old episodes of "Scrubs" and "Criminal Minds". I have to say, I'm in love with "The Mentalist", Jane is so adorable, he is very much childlike and yet so wise. Another great character is Lisbon, oh, she's a hero. She's amazing. The Mentalist rocks my socks off. Check it out. Seriously, and then help me figure out who Red John is.

Seriously you guys, check out "The Mentalist". You won't regret it.

Expectations

Expectations coming at me left and right

Scared to fail,

Pressured to perfection

Everything must be complete with no mistakes

Give up everything that matters, its now gone,

Being forced to be someone you're not

I'm sick of all these expectations

I want to quit, but I want to make you happy

I want to give up, but I want to make you proud

I want to leave, but I want your acceptance

I try, I really do but there comes a time...I need a break

Scared to fail,

Pressured to perfection

Everything must be complete with no mistakes

The cycle begins once again

And I'll fulfill these expectations

Because

I want to you make you happy

I want to make you proud

I'm sick of all the expectations coming at me left and right

Stupid Boy

I hate how you make me feel

I hate how you undo me,

A girl made of steel

Stupid mouth, please shut up

Don't give me away

Don't betray me, we had an agreement!

There you go babbling and stuttering

And then you leave

I hate how your perfect

I hate how you see through me

I hate when you sit next to me,

I get all weird, all jibbery, all stupid

A girl made of steel,

And then you leave

I hate how much I want you

I hate how I can't breathe

I hate you so much,

A girl made of steel

You don't know anything, do you?

You don't know how much I want to hold your hand

You don't know how much I try to be steel around you

You don't know how much I hate you

You don't know how much I love you

You don't know I'm leaving tomorrow

I hate how you come in and say "Hey girl, how you been?"

I hate how it's obvious we both want each other

But we still don't see it, we're still blind,

Stupid heart, shut up.

I'm a girl made of steel

I'm leaving tonight and I still hate you

My plane leaves in an hour

Stupid boy, you should've tried

I'm not all steel, you see another side of me

You undo me, make me someone else

A girl made of steel

There you were in the airport

You hugged me close and I couldn't breathe

You kissed my cheek and said "Girl, I'm sorry"

Stupid boy, I love you so much

I nod and smile, tears rushing out

You wipe them away, crying yourself

"You're a girl made of steel, I know."

You're eyes saying everything unsaid

And then you left

You left a girl made of steel undone and confused

Stupid boy.

Why I Don't Like Cats

Alright, if you know me, then you do know I don't like cats. A lot of people often ask me,

"Brenda, why don't you like cats? They're adorable!" I don't think so. Nu-uh. I think cats are plotting to kill me.

Seriously.

I had a cat once, she was adorable and whatnot. Until I found out she was plotting to kill me. Okay, okay, don't call me crazy just yet. Look, she brought me dead animals. That wasn't a gift. That was a warning.

Also, after she use the litter box she kicked excessive amounts of of kitty litter, often ending everywhere. You know what that was for? Burying bodies.

Cats are just plain creepy. I mean, hiding out and watching me. What are you, Edward Cullen or something? I tell you, cats want to kill me. All of them. I recently visited a friend and she had a cat, his name was "Prince". Stupid Prince, I was petting him and he BIT me. What is up with that?

I don't know about you guys, but I'm sticking with dogs from now on.

Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson

Hey, hey, hey

So, I started reading Shakespeare. Thinking it'd be cool, and I'd seem smart. Yeah, well, my plan backfired. I was reading and half of the time, I had no friggin' idea what he meant or was saying. The other half, I was writing a story myself. In my head. So, my reading went nowhere.

I mean, I don't know why he was so great. According to my spell-check, he's mentally challenged. Or something. So, I gave up on Whats-His-Face and started reading Whats-Her-Face, Emily Dickinson.

So I read some of her poems, because, oh you know, people write pages and pages of essays about how great she is. Her poems don't make sense.. At all. I mean, what's up with:

"We lose because we win." What?? See what I mean!

Another nonsense line:

"Fame is a bee." No, no, no! A bee is an animal. That buzzes around flowers and eats...I don't know what it eats, but it eats.

Or, or:

"Water is taught by thirst." Technically, you can't teach water anything. It's WATER.

"'Hope' is the thing with feathers." No, a BIRD is the thing with feathers. What is WRONG with this lady.

Wait, it gets even better.

"On this wondrous sea,

Sailing silently,

Ho! Pilot, ho!

Knowest thou the sho--" Let me stop right there, how is she sailing silently is she's yelling "Ho! Pilot, Ho!" Another thing, it's a BOAT, not a PLANE. He is not a "Pilot" and who was she calling "Ho!" Oh my. I don't want to know. Mooovvviiiinnnng on.

"I never lost as much but twice," What? You didn't lose..but you lost twice. Oh, no, yeah, that makes PERFECT sense. I mean, her poems don't even rhyme!

"She died -- this is the way she died." Yeah, well, she probably died of boredom from your boring poetry that doesn't even make sense. I think Emily Dickinson was intoxicated while she wrote her poems. And looks how famous she is!

Overdecorated Houses

Hey, read on.

I'm actually in a rather jolly mood. I get my brown, baby, chihuahua today. Her name is Cinnamon. Dogs make happy, awesome little dudes. Or dudettes. Whatever.

Anyways, my mom and I were driving and we see all these houses with so many decorations. They OVER embellished their home. I literally thought the house going to catch on fire or something. Maybe electrocute themselves.

Seriously.

I think these people were drinking and decorating or something. So many lights, so many colors, and inflatable HUGE Santa's. Well, folks, don't drink and decorate. Your house might catch on fire.

Happy People

Hello, hello,

Alright, alright, I know I haven't posted in a long time, but you know what? Shut up. Yeah, shut up, my dog died. I had him for a long time and some IDIOT ran him over. Seriously, people should have to, like, take, TEN damn tests in order to get their damn license. Yes, I cried, surprisingly, I have feelings. So now I'm filled with this brand new rage and frustration. Thank you, random idiot who killed the most precious thing I had. >:|

Anyways, I'm a pretty upbeat person. I laugh and I have a good damn time whenever I feel like it. And stuff. Anyways, even though I'm upbeat and all, I'm still pretty realistic. I'm not waiting for my damn "Prince Charming" ; there isn't one. Anywho, we ALL know that one person who is so positive. For me, I know, A LOT of friggin' positive girls.

I DON'T GET IT. How can they be SOO happy. There's murder, rape, and world hunger, and what do ya know? Here she comes...I swear, she is a naive optimist who walks around VOMITING sunshine. Look, I don't friggin' blame her, wait, no, actually I do. I use to be JUST like her. Walking around basically vomiting sunshine at random people. Ew.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes I like happy people, other times I don't and other times, I'm happy VOMITING sunshine and rainbows at people. I seriously think I suffer from bipolar disorder. Or some other kind of severe mental problem.

I'm leaving now. I'm damn tired and I have homework to friggin' do. And I need a new damn pet. That pet was the most precious, most expensive thing I had. I loved that thing. The only thing I purely loved and cared for. I don't think you understand exactly HOW MUCH I loved my dog. If I ever find the damn driver, I WILL kill him. I've seen enough crime shows, I think I'll get away with it. You just don't mess with my dogs or my books. You just don't.

I Like Being Me!

Hi, read on, read on.

Hi, if you know me, you know I'm overweight. And, you know what? I like it. You know why? I'll tell you why! I will tell you! If any of you get offended, I'm sorry, DEAL WITH IT. I have been dealing with it my whole life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not healthy, but, in reality nothing is "healthy" and even if you really try you can't have a "healthy" life style. Trust me. I've tried. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Anyways, I like being fat because I can eat what I want. What I've noticed when I go out to eat with thin people, they're are all like

"No, no, I'll have a water and salad. No avocados."

Well, guess what? I'm already fat, I don't give a crap. I don't go Wendy's to get a salad, I got to Wendy's to get a Baconator. Those are good. :)

Another reason would be no one notices crap. If you're thin, and you gain give pounds, you're most likely up two sizes already and everyone is making a big deal about it. If you're fat and you gain weight, no one notices. I dyed my hair, I cut my hair, I gained weight, and no one noticed! I tell you, it really works!

Moreover, bigger girls ACTUALLY have a personality. I mean, growing up, people automatically liked you for having nice hair, and being thin. You never had to do anything special you just were. Guess what? No one "automatically" liked me. I was the chubby girl who had frizzy hair. I had to try, I had to develop a personality. I wasn't cute, so I had to be nice or funny. So, I have a sense of humor and sometimes I'm nice. I have a great smile, by the way.

The best part about being fat is the gays. I have known so many gay guys. They're just fun, they're lively, bubbly. I don't really know, but there is just something about the gays and fat girls, we just come together. We have a good time.

And that is why I like being me.

Why Would ANYONE Listen To Their Heart??

Hello, and welcome to my blog.

Why would ANYONE listen to their heart? Your brain is in your head. Your heart is stupid. Your heart doesn't know anything. All it does is feel a bunch of crap that you're clearly NOT suppose to feel. Yeah. Don't EVER listen to your heart.

Ever. I'm serious.

Now, now, children. Y'all might wonder what horrible love life I have. I don't. I've actually never had a real boyfriend. I've never been really kissed, nothing really. I'm a lonely person. Hugs? Yeah, who the hell doesn't give hugs? That's like saying hello nowadays.

Now, y'all are thinking I'm this disfigured freak. I'm not. I'm not beautiful, I'm not perfect, I'm not pretty, I'm okay. I'm not thin, I'm just okay-- We'll get into that next time. That a whole different story.

Anywho, yes. Never, ever, ever, listen to your heart. Your heart is nothing. It just feels crap it shouldn't be feeling. You have to turn it off. My heart is officially turned off. You better turns your off, too. If you expect too much, you're going to get hurt. If you care too much, you're going to get hurt. If you actually FEEL anything, TOWARDS anyone, you WILL get hurt. I'm just saying.

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

I assume you all have heard "Whip My Hair" By Willow Smith. Have you seen the video? If not, check it out below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U

Go. Watch it. Now.

Good. You're back. Okay, let's go over this friggin' video.

Okay, so the video starts with her in a friggin' school that's like for zombies or some crap like that and she comes on, with her hair braided in a friggin' heart. What? What the hell? Seriously. Who the hell does she think she is, Lady Gaga? And then she has like diamond STICKERS on her lip...what? Please, someone...EXPLAIN! Her eyelashes have some kind of friggin' SNOW on them. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy to wear mascara at such a young age.

Moving on, she dips her HAIR into PAINT. Seriously...who DOES that? Wait, wait, here comes the best part...she "WHIPS HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH!", and in SECONDS she paints the whole room. What? No, no, hold up, and then they all just whip their hair back and forth. The teacher comes and she..."WHIPS HER HAIR BACK AND FORTH"...and then theres this part with a baby "dropping low"

I mean...WHAT? After watching that... I was literally SCARRED for life. Don't get me wrong, this is better than Justin Beaver-Teeth, but, I PRAY for future generations music.

I mean, what? Yet, again, she sounds better than most of todays ADULT singer, the song has the same quality, the same meaning as other songs played in the radio, and a CHILD sang this. Poor thing, she must have had neck-pain and massive headaches after that video...

I kinda like the song. After a few hundred plays, it does get annoying. The dreaded time for my departure has arrived, I shall leave and quip my quill to and fro.

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

...I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

....Byez

I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH

Haha, I GOTCHA

A Special Night; REALLY SHORT STORY!

I knew tonight was going to be special, everyone was talking about the ball. Since a few weeks back, it was the talk of town, everyone in the high society was attending the precious and expensive ball. I was anxious, nervous, and excited, tonight was the ball. I had my creamy light yellow dress all ready, my hair was curled; tonight was the big night!

As I entered the room, I saw many familiar faces, and many unknown. My creamy light yellow dress stood out against darker colors, such as navy blue, purple, and green. Instead of taking this as a fail, I took it as an advantage. I was finally going to be noticed.

A gentleman caught my eye, he wore a rather fancy black suit, a top hat, and freshly polished shoes. His hair was brown and it had slight curls and the most amazing smile I'd ever seen. As soon as he smiled, I smiled back. He was perfect. I turned to Veronica and quietly told her about what had just recently happened.

"He smiled at me! That one over there Do you know anything about him?" I hurriedly whispered. She discreetly glanced over.

"His name is Stefan Anthony Scott, he works for my father. He is a hard worked, handsome, and a really sweet gentleman. You got yourself a good one, Miranda." She whispered back.

The songs started and gentlemen started to walk to the ladies and asked them to dance. I was so excited I was sweating. Tonight is going to be a special night! I thought as I saw him walking towards me out of the corner of my eye. Veronica, who was right beside me, discreetly nudged me. I nodded back and smiled.

I felt him behind me.

"Excuse me?" He said in a deep, sweet, caramel coated voice. Take a deep breath! I slowly turned.

"Yes?" I said as I smiled into his sweet brown eyes.

"Um, can you call your friend, Veronica. You're her friend, Anabelle, right?" He said, in that hypnotizing voice,

"I'm Miranda. I'll call her right away." I said as I turned and walked towards Veronica.

"How'd it go?" She asked

"He wants to dance with you. He's in love with you." I said, in a daze.

"What?" She asked, clearly confused.

"Just. Go." I said. I faked a smile, swallowed my pride, and nodded.

I watched her as she walked towards him, with such a grace, such an elegance. I swallowed my tears, my pride, and I watched them dance. They made such a good couple, both elegant, rich, and flawless. They were in sync, their moves went smoothly, as if practiced. Right then, I knew they were soul mates, and I couldn't do a thing about it. I did what I always did when I was let down or disappointed; I smiled. The song ended and they went out to the balcony and talked.

A year later they were married. Two years later they had children. And all I could do was smile. For I was the Godmother, I was the neighbor helping with the troubles, celebrating the good news, crying for the bad. Indeed, that night was a special night.

Positive Teachers

Crappy Blog

Enjoy

We all have that ONE teacher who is so positive about everything. My English teacher finds more meaning in words than the ACTUAL author. The thing that bothers me, the only thing she suggests the author is trying to say is all positive things. NO, NO, NO! What I see is the lady is HUNGRY, the bird does not "symbolize" hope, it "symbolizes" FOOD. Gosh. >:(

I also am pretty sure Shakespeare was a PEDOPHILE or something. In Romeo And Juliette, Juliette is 13 and it is suggested that Romeo was in this late teens, so were the others. What kind of TWISTED AUTHOR DOES THAT? Seriously.

Another positive teacher I have, I really like her. She like, rubs off all her positiveness on me. I'm positive and happy after that class. She kinda gives me hope, and all that happy, lovey-dovey crap. She makes me believe. I don't like it.

Well, that is all. Go read another friggin' blog post or friggin' comment.

Bottled Up Inside

Crappy Poem

Enjoy

Pride won't let me cry

Perfection won't let me quit

Troubles won't let me go

I'm stuck in the middle

It's all bottled up inside

But there comes a moment

Were you can't

You just can't

Theres no room

Theres no space

It's all bottled up inside

You know what's worse?

When you don't have anyone

When you do, you don't want to burden them

They're smiles, they're laughs

It's too much to destroy

Just hide it and

Bottle it up inside

It's bad when you have to go through it alone

You wipe your own tears

You hug your own self

You are your own best friend

It's too much

It's all bottled up inside

There's nothing you can do

There's nothing you can show.

The fear of being judged

Of being laughed at

Of being humiliated

Once happened

Never again

So, it's all bottled up inside

See, the rest don't really understand

They all have someone

A person who is there to catch you when you fall

Some of us don't have anyone

Some of us have to get through this alone.

It's all bottled up inside

You get nowhere with this

Pride won't let you cry

Perfection won't let you quit

Troubles build up

It's a vicious cycle of trouble

It's all bottled up inside.